I had a birthday party. I am old now. 37. So my friends came over and we did karaoke OnDemand. Also, I made many delicious foods. I made mini quiches. Never tried it before, but everyone scrafed them, especially the dudes.
My friend Mike came all the way from beautiful downtown Melvindale to hang out with me. He ate quiche. He went to the drag bar with me. He's the man! He came to the drag show because he likes me. He ate quiche because quiche is delicious. He likes me....I dunno why. I want to believe all the sweet things he says about me, but I've got a lifetime of negative reinforcement to work through.
Monni sang "Baby Got Back". My new work friend Kristin has an awesome voice. Also, four dozen cookies seem to have vanished into my pals. It's mysterious. I made sugar cookies and decorated them. Halloween. Nummy.
Happy birthday to me. Happy Sweetest Day to Mike (who is a sweetie). Happy! For now.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Screwing Up
Sometimes, I screw up. I forget things. I can be careless. I screw up without malice. It's not like I'm some weird modern saint, but I can't remember actually forming a plan to hurt someone. I've said things when I'm angry that I regret, and a few that I don't. But I never set out to ruin someone's day.
What do you do if you inadvertently hurt someone? What do you do when they lay it all out, and you apologize, and they are vague about whether or not they accept? If I apologize, I mean it. I just don't know what else I need to do.
This is really vague, purposely so. The situation I'm dealing with involves someone I love, who's been angry at me for a while, and who vacillates between acting like we're friends and acting like I'm a shitty person who should just go away and die in hole someplace. And when I go away (not to die, but to live my life of tutoring and family obligations, and cleaning houses, and writing and trying to have friends and date), she gets angry at me for not paying attention to what's going on in her life.
Nothing I do works in this situation. I don't think I'm a rotten person. I don't want to buy my friend off. Given the level of anger, I wonder what I owe myself? I like me a bit. I don't know that avoidance is a bad idea, either.
Why can't we all just get along? Oy.
What do you do if you inadvertently hurt someone? What do you do when they lay it all out, and you apologize, and they are vague about whether or not they accept? If I apologize, I mean it. I just don't know what else I need to do.
This is really vague, purposely so. The situation I'm dealing with involves someone I love, who's been angry at me for a while, and who vacillates between acting like we're friends and acting like I'm a shitty person who should just go away and die in hole someplace. And when I go away (not to die, but to live my life of tutoring and family obligations, and cleaning houses, and writing and trying to have friends and date), she gets angry at me for not paying attention to what's going on in her life.
Nothing I do works in this situation. I don't think I'm a rotten person. I don't want to buy my friend off. Given the level of anger, I wonder what I owe myself? I like me a bit. I don't know that avoidance is a bad idea, either.
Why can't we all just get along? Oy.
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