Men

I never dated before the age of 35.  I used to weigh nearly 600 pounds and didn't want to sleep with creepy fetish dudes.  So.  I never dated in high school.  Nor in college.  I had my first date in December with a man who has nine toes, who lives with his mother and who brought with him a purse that he made himself.  Suffice it to say, he went back to his girlfriend and nothing came of it.

I've also dated a guy who swapped tags on items so he could trick Sears into giving him store credits, a homeless S&M dude who wore a truss to the movies, and at least one man I'm pretty sure is gay.  I negotiate dating poorly.  I'm pretty sure I'll die alone, surrounded be cats.  I know the cats will eat me.  I cut my finger a couple weeks ago and Spenser, my ancient, incontinent tabby, licked the blood off the floor.  I know cats like the taste of me.  And the man thing isn't working.

I wonder if it's easier for people who've done this since high school?  Of maybe it's even more brutal and depressing.  If I'd dated for twenty years and still didn't have a boyfriend, I'd probably feel pretty bad about that.  The guy I liked the most of all seems to have moved in with someone else.  He still wants to talk to me because I'm good entertainment.  So I'm learning that dating sucks and that a lot of men -- in my admittedly limited experience -- make terrible friends as well as terrible lovers.

Maybe I need to move?  Or maybe I just need more cats.

Sushi

I've never had sushi.  I'd never done a lot of things, till the surgery and the giant weight loss.  My male friend took me to a local sushi/Japanese food place.  I tried a bit of the raw stuff.  Not bad, but not great either.  Mainly kind of moist.  I liked the rolls.  Yum!  Also, the udon soup I had as a main was lovely -- lots of fresh veggies, delicious broth and chicken.  Plus noodles.  Not bad at all.

Of course, my friend's instruction with the fish ("Cram it in!") took a bit of the sparkle off the occasion.  But hey, it's only food, even if I did have to cross a bridge over a giant koi pond to obtain it.  And it's way, way better than tabby steak.

Cat Meat

I'm on the road with my friend Becca (yes, we've heard the Becca and ReBecca joke and it's always stupid).  We had dinner at this place called Jack's that I'm pretty sure serves cat meat.  Tabby steak is best served rare.  I want it meowing when it hits my plate, by gum.

We're in Athens where we saw Jonathan Richman.  Who decided to torture the audience by killing the AC.  300 people, 200 square feet, zero ventilation.  Death.  Then we had Mexican food at Casa Nuevo (awesome!).  I drank some local lemon ginger wine, was drunk for ten minutes, and flipped off a campaign poster of Sarah Palin while screaming "Suck it, Bitch!"

Red wine goes with tabby, right?

February 5, 2009!

Butterbabe comes out on February 5, 2009.  So far, the blessed event will occur solely in the UK.  I have hopes of a US sale.  Many excellent publishers are reading the book, so we'll see what happens.

If you're not familiar with my little tale of woe (and joy and childhood and a dogs uterus that one time) this should give you an idea of what you're in for in three short months: 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/article609697.ece

I wish this looked more professional.  Sadly, I'm a writer, not an HTML person.  I know HTML is super easy and I'm sure I'll pick it up sooner or later, but it's neither sooner nor later so here we are.

The process of writing a book held surprises for me at virtually every turn.  Writing the first draft was surprisingly simple.  Revising the manuscript eight or nine times was not.  We've just finished the first UK proof.  While I think I'm finished reading the book, I probably am not.  I've read my own book a good eight times now.  I like it.  You will, too, I hope.  But you can just read it the once, and I think that'll make it a more enjoyable experience.

Welcome to my book blog.  If you have any writing or publishing questions, I'll try to answer them, time permitting.